Lover of God, wife, mother, British missionary in Peru... click here to learn more about Anna and this blog and how it can serve you.

Recovering

August each year, we set aside a month to reflect, recover and step back from much of our ministry responsibilities. Last year, it was timely as we lost our son, Solomon at 17 weeks pregnant. This year, late July and early August has seen the death of Mark’s mum, a robbery at our home and the birth of Kaleb Josiah, by C-section, much to my disappointment.

As a family, there is a lot to recover from!

As I process my disappointment at having to have a hospital C-section birth, and all the little things I hated about it, God has been talking to me about binding.

On day 2 after the surgery, I had to get out of bed. The first two times I tried, I couldn’t get up. I nearly fainted with the pain. The third time, the nurses bound my tummy with my belly-support belt and slowly, I managed to get up.

That belly support, bound tightly around my abdomen, allowed me to get up and walk around (like a granny!) for the first few days after the surgery.

Binding is an ancient method in supporting healing. Not only does it provide support and protection to the wound, lessening pain; the compression alleviates swelling and promotes healing.

Emotionally too, I have been allowing God to bind me. The C section was necessary and probably saved Kaleb’s life and I am grateful for it. But that does not mean suffering was not involved, both physically and emotionally. Allowing God to put pressure on those emotional wounds, He has given me a safe place to explore the questions and pains I have had.

I don’t understand why God allowed Mark’s mum to die, our car parts to be robbed and Kaleb’s birth to be a C section, when it went against the desires of my heart, but I do know that His perspective is different, and in the words of Steve Curtis Chapman, ‘God is God, and I am not’. I am recognizing areas I have failed to trust. I am learning to trust Him again and it is good!

Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. Hosea 6:1

I love that God binds up our wounds. He lovingly applies pressure to us, supporting us in our pain and not denying it, strengthening us and allowing us to find life amongst all of life’s struggles.

Facing up to C section disappointment

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