I wanted to run away.
I was tired.
I had juggled three kids, a marriage and not sleeping more than 3 hours in a row, for more months than I could remember.
“I have no strength or energy left” I told God.
He smiled and asked me:
“What do you have?”
“You know it is not even enough to get me to lunchtime, don’t you?!” I replied.
The crowds were beginning to irritate the disciples. The people were shuffling uncomfortably and the children beginning to misbehave. (You know, throwing small pebbles at the backs of the disciples heads, running in and out of their feet, making Peter play ‘hunt the sandal'…)
The disciples were losing their patience and they had been very patient sitting there with Jesus all day.
“What we need,” piped up one, “is a break, some team time, a change of clothing, a dip in the lake, some food and a nice long sleep. Perhaps when we have rested we can minister more effectively to these people. Right, Jesus? All the people are soooo hungry, (and so are we, hint hint) so perhaps you could wrap it up now?!”
Jesus looks at them with that glint in his eye which they all know means He has a different plan.
“You give them something to eat. What do you have?”
“I have nothing left.” I told God. “Why did you make life to be so overwhelming at times?! Maybe I could survive until lunch if I knew I could then take a break!”
“Ah, so you do have a little energy left then! Give it to me!”
I surrendered. Jesus smiled. He took what I had, blessed it and then gave it back to me.
Then He told me to carry on.
Another puddle of water on the floor. The doorbell ringing. The baby just awoken. The pasta overboiling.
Another set of clothes sinking in the paddling pool.
Another tidy room dismantled.
“I will supply all your needs according to my riches…”
I choose to embrace rather than resist.
Surprisingly, a foreigner emerges from within:
Thank you for the children I have and their joyful play!
Thank you for the arms to replace the sofa cushions for the third time today!
Another evening filled with activity as soon as the children are asleep
Another floor filled with beach sand and dirt
Another broken plate
For He will supply ALL my needs with His RICHES….
I recognize that foreigner again:
Thank you for the privilege of having a house full of people praising you!
Thank you that someone is doing the washing up!
A tired, sick husband
A whiney teething infant who wants to be held
A child who has declared he no longer wants to have baths or sleep. Ever again.
For He will supply ALL my needs with His RICHES…
That foreigner is becoming my friend:
Thank you for a loving, growing, overcoming precious family!
Thank you for the joy of embracing rather than resisting!
For somehow His grace is such that it begins by just acknowledging the crumbs that I do have and offering them to Him and then carrying on, supernaturally, they are transformed into a banquet.
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19