Stop being a baby!
Caring for a crawling baby requires lots of patience. Not only does Kaleb try and eat rabbit poo, climb the stairs solo and seems to have an internal compass needle to find dangerous wiring, he also comes and finds me when I am just in the middle of something to hang onto my trousers and cry until I pick him up. If he sees me picking up a bag to leave the house for a moment, he will start panicking and crawl at a superhuman speed towards me. But I recognize his need for me to reassure him and cuddle him after each exploring adventure and each time I try to lovingly respond with a cuddle, a smile and an affirmation.
Although I have known God since childhood, there are times when I still act like Kaleb. God lovingly pointed it out to me the other day – You are just like Kaleb – as soon as you lose sight of me or can’t feel me, you start to panic! You need to grow up and know that my Presence is always with you and I am always Your Shepherd, no matter what you feel or see!
I truly believe that our relationship with God is meant to be experienced. He doesn’t just want us to know about Him, He wants us to know Him! If you are friends with someone, it is useless knowing everything about them if you never spend time together, experience joy and hard times together and do things together. I get used to feeling God’s Spirit within me, empowering me to get through the day. But then what about those days I feel really oppressed? What does that mean about God?
That is why is it so important that I live a life that is full of the Word and the Spirit. Because on those days I can’t feel His presence, His word tells me:
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:7)
It tells me
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
So on those days, I just have to believe what I cannot see. On those days I feel like I am walking through mud, that I have spiritual sunglasses on, God reminds me to just wait for Him:
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:25-26)
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:25-26)
And sooner or later, whether it be minutes, hours or days, the heaviness does lift and I don’t have to fight to feel Him in my day and to feel the joy that is our inheritance as children of God.