Back in November 2011, I wrote post about the difference between doing things to win love and doing things through love.  I felt God leading me to write an updated version, especially relating to marriage for this Marriage Month: 

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If I love my husband to win love, I feel resentful, cheated and justified in angry words when he doesn’t respond in the way I hoped.

If I love my husband through love, I am able to truly love, no matter how he responds or how long it takes for him to receive that love.

If I seek to affirm my husband with words, to win his love, I feel rejected and hopeless when he doesn’t receive them.

If I encourage my husband through love, because he’s my brother in Christ, I can keep going until those seeds take root and grow.

If I offer to look after the kids so my husband can have some extended time off or a lay-in, to win his love, then I expect him to be grateful and to return the favour.

If I choose to serve my husband, through love, just because, God fills me to overflowing and His grace and smile is sufficient.

If I put on a nice dress to win his love, I feel silly and childish if he fails to notice. 

If I dress my inside consciously and my outside confidently through love, my smile is not dependent on his, and I become attractive in a different way.

If I offer advice or opinions to win love and affirmation, my pride is stung and I feel rejected and upset if they are not heeded.

If I share my prayerful thoughts through love, it doesn’t matter if they are heard or not, the Holy Spirit has the responsibility to highlight any truth.   

If I love selfishly, it always disappoints.

If I love wholly, and freely and vulnerably, God’s presence abides and transforms.

Oh, Lord, teach me to love like You!