Lover of God, wife, mother, British missionary in Peru... click here to learn more about Anna and this blog and how it can serve you.

If I... Marriage Month


Back in November 2011, I wrote post about the difference between doing things to win love and doing things through love.  I felt God leading me to write an updated version, especially relating to marriage for this Marriage Month


If I love my husband to win love, I feel resentful, cheated and justified in angry words when he doesn’t respond in the way I hoped.

If I love my husband through love, I am able to truly love, no matter how he responds or how long it takes for him to receive that love.

If I seek to affirm my husband with words, to win his love, I feel rejected and hopeless when he doesn’t receive them.

If I encourage my husband through love, because he’s my brother in Christ, I can keep going until those seeds take root and grow.

If I offer to look after the kids so my husband can have some extended time off or a lay-in, to win his love, then I expect him to be grateful and to return the favour.

If I choose to serve my husband, through love, just because, God fills me to overflowing and His grace and smile is sufficient.

If I put on a nice dress to win his love, I feel silly and childish if he fails to notice. 

If I dress my inside consciously and my outside confidently through love, my smile is not dependent on his, and I become attractive in a different way.

If I offer advice or opinions to win love and affirmation, my pride is stung and I feel rejected and upset if they are not heeded.

If I share my prayerful thoughts through love, it doesn’t matter if they are heard or not, the Holy Spirit has the responsibility to highlight any truth.   

If I love selfishly, it always disappoints.

If I love wholly, and freely and vulnerably, God’s presence abides and transforms.

Oh, Lord, teach me to love like You! 

Marriage - Some Lessons Learned - by Robin Burgess

Feeling Bad by Allison Stroud