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2 more lies that destroys relationships & what you can do

2 more lies that destroys relationships & what you can do

The last post was getting too long and I wanted to take some more time to dig into these lies, so at my lovely husband's advice I have divided them into two posts. Last post we talked about 3 lies that the enemy uses to destroy relationships.  Today we're going to look at lie 4 and lie 5 and see two more ways the enemy lies to us to try and destroy relationships... 


Lie 4: What I am trying to achieve is more important than the relationship. 

Truth: Your mission here on earth is first to love God and then to love others.  Loving others is one way of also loving God! 

Passivity and busyness are two snares the enemy uses to destroy relationships.  Sometimes we are so busy or relationships require more effort than we want to give.  Obviously we are not called to invest in every relationship to the same degree, but there are relationships with others we are living or working with that we ARE called to invest in.  And those relationships are more important than the task we are trying to achieve. 

It is more important that I am united with my husband than I get sermon I am trying to write done right now.  It is more important that I am united with the leadership than I get my agenda pushed forward.  It is more important that there are no bad feelings between my children and me than another maths lesson is completed today.  

Practical things you can do: Speak out the value of the relationship and choose to prioritize it.  Look for ways to make it a priority.  Separate time to do fun things together.  Spend time just hanging out with your team without an agenda.  It is worth it! Don’t feel guilty about it! It is more ‘productive’ than you think! Don’t automatically push people away when you are trying to get something else done.  I have realized that whenever I have sacrificed tasks temporarily to love someone, God has always provided other times to get the things that need to be done. 

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
— Matthew 22:37-39

Lie 5: I am better off doing it on my own.  

Truth: God desires his bride to be interdependent, not independent.  We are part of a body. 

Relationships can be exhausting.  Sometimes we have no choice but to do something alone.  But often we just find it easier to do something alone.  It feels more productive! And how we love to feel productive (or is that just me?!)!  At school I always hated group work - it felt like it took twice as long to get the task done.  But often we forget that our number 1 mission is not the task at hand, but the Great Commandment in Matthew 22:37-39 to love God and love others.  It is not what gets done, but HOW it gets done that counts to God.  Tasks are really opportunities to love God and love others. I can do everything but if I have not love, I gain nothing. Even whilst writing this blogpost I have been disturbed too many times!  Even as I tell my children they need to go and find something else to do, I need to talk to them kindly and lovingly.  Sometimes a stop for a cuddle is necessary too!

Practical things you can do: These are three questions I ask myself when I am trying to do something and am in danger of being interrupted:  1) Is it my pride that is stopping me connecting with others right now? (Do I believe what I am doing is more important than them?) 2) Is this an activity where others can be included? 3) Will there be serious consequences if I put what I am doing on hold right now and embrace these important relationships instead? 

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it...God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
— 1 Corinthians 12:27; 24-25

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
— John 13:35 (NLT)

Lord, show us how we can see others as you see them.  Help us to value them as you value them and to love them as you love them.  Let us not see others as distractions, but beautiful treasures.  Show us where we fit in the body of Christ and how we can work with others and bring others alongside the things we are doing to bring you glory.  Amen. 


May God bless your relationships as you embrace others in love this week! I'm praying that we can all get rid of the lies and embrace the truth about our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Do share this or any other blogpost you think will be helpful with others.  And do comment and say hi! 

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Why being passive is bad for you

Why being passive is bad for you

How the enemy destroys relationships and what you can do about it 

How the enemy destroys relationships and what you can do about it 

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